“We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one.”
Welcome
Hello, I’m Steve Marshall.
I’m the host of Finding Ourselves, an exploration of eldership and wisdom in the second half of life.
Happiest walking the land or clipped into my bike, I’m wandering and wondering, photographing, writing and talking about how we make the urgent move beyond conventional leadership and bring generative change to a world of social decline, political conflict, discriminatory economics and ecological degradation.
I’ve been capturing stories, convening dialogues and developing the practices that help us live into the world that opens up at mid-life and beyond. Eldership is about reclaiming a full experience of life; (re)connecting to each other, to our creative selves, to our health and the landscape in moments that bear witness to who we are rather than chasing aspirational versions of who we ‘should’ be.
“There are plenty of old people, but not many elders.”
Eldership and the second half of life
Many of us experience a moment when we raise our gaze and realise we have fundamental questions about life, work, wisdom and leadership.
It’s a moment that isn’t defined by age but by attitude.
We tend to rush through the first half of life getting an education, making money, paying a mortgage, having children, developing a career, and establishing worth, security and status. It’s necessary work yet, typically, anywhere between thirty-five and seventy, life brings turbulent emotional shifts which lead us to question the choices we’ve made.
Many of us experience life changing events; the death of a partner or loved one, the end of a marriage, an episode of illness or depression, job change or retirement, or a glimpse of our own mortality. Moments that shift our lives and invite us to redefine who we are, how we live and how we choose to work.
Even so, the invitation offered by the second half of life is not one that everyone is able to accept and many seek solace in returning to an ego-driven life. Others remain in corporate roles drifting, damaged and confused, often projecting their pain and trauma onto friends and colleagues while some leave their jobs in search of renewal and personal change.
“Most people sooner or later hit a wall. What they do then makes all the difference in their life.”
An Invitation
I’ve come to learn that the transformative moments of mid-life and the steps toward eldership are a time for careful contemplation.
Mid-life offers an invitation to consider questions of identity, relationship and purpose, environment and well-being, creativity and contribution, as well as the pragmatics of business, work-life balance, family and leisure. But dropping our preoccupations with self-image, success and power can feel risky, precarious and unsafe.
As socio-economic systems collapse and our climate rages, our task is to integrate the wisdom, soul and experience that we embody. We need to the share a deep reservoir of collective wisdom, bringing emotional maturity and responsibility to our communities, balancing change and tradition, while being carefully present and attentive to the world around us.
Like any experience of deep learning, mid-life shift requires vulnerability and submission, and the capacity to trust in the wider fabric of the world as we relinquish our previous narratives and identity.
Together, we can restore the foundations deep wisdom and develop the practices of eldership in the second half of life.